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Helen Kobler was the mother of a friend of mine (Adam) when I was 14 or 15. It was nice then, knowing another Jewish mom growing up. But even after he and I grew apart after high school. I still never stop visiting Helen. She was warm, kind, loving and always there if you needed her, and sometimes even if you didn't. Over time she became like a second mother to me. That statement alone says allot so I am not going to prattle on about how awesome and wonderful she was, if for no other reason it is far to painful at the moment. Needless to say both my mother and myself were very close to her.
Helen was sick, very sick, most of her life. She suffered from simple things like Carpal Tunnel and extrema obesity brought on by medication, to much bigger things like Epilepsy, and Myasthenia Gravis
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myastheni
on top of that, god knows what else.
She had been through more then one brain surgery in her life and always managed to come out of it smiling. She could be laid up in bed, with a breathing machine and 1000 pills making her feel like death, and still manage to take off the breathing mask to say. "Ha Ha I farted"
Dick and fart jokes aside, in many cases she would manage something much wittier. Through the haze of all that pain and all those meds she somehow always kept a sharp mind, a song in her heart and a smile on her face.
She was outspoken and honest and amazing and I will miss her fiercely.
I am glad she is no longer in the endless pain she lived through in life.
Such a brilliant soul did not deserve such pain, and she would not have given that pain to her worst enemy if you asked. In dearth, I know she will find rest. In that I can take solace.
My heart goes out to her son and widower who I am sure feels this sting much stronger then I.
Sionara Helen.
I will love you always.
- Location:Home
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Like if I am in a crowed, or even just alone and listening I am fine though. Such powerful lyrics.
I mean really, how many people here listen to this song and remember some dark or sad part of their past.
Listening to it brings an almost happy lament of good and bad times past.
- Mood:
curious
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- Mood:
happy
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I have decided to start posting the stupidest question of the week from now on.
Actually I will keep track of the dumbest question I get in a day and post them all at once, with one gleaming winer that shines above the rest
I am going to start the off by posting the stupidest questions I remember from the last month.
Top 4 I remember
4.
Client: How come I don't have a website up yet?
Me: did you make one?
Client: no.....
Me: ......
Client: So why don't I have a website.
Me: /headdesk
3.
"Are those Numbers capital?"
2.
"Why would I dial 0 if I wanted to contact my phone operator"
1.
The finalist, This was sent in via Email.
"Hi! Can you please tell me the price of your $19.99 webhosting plan?"
Stay tuned as hilarity ensues.
- Mood: happy
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Overall the movie was good. Very dark, but allot of stuff was left out.
Things that were left out:
No mention of his Family (again)
No mention of 12 Grimwald place (This will mater in Deathly Hollows)
No Elves < awww :( >
As many may know, someone dies in this, just about everything after that was changed.
No big fight, no funeral.
Changed
Dumbledore somehow gained the ability to Apparate to and from Hogwarts, but it did make for some good dialog.
Harry was not given detention by **** when he hurt **** by mistake which explains the next part.
The "kiss" happens in a different place and fashion, but I must say it was very sweet and well done.
( My 2 cents, contains spoilers )
Overall it was a great movie. I am sure I will see it again. It kept to the same general flow and idea of the book but changed details that will affect later story points. However they left in enough and I liked how they only eluded to some things that would get if they read the book.
- Mood: happy
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- Mood: amused
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On her way out she accidental (not paying attention) knocked a bottle of Tarantula Tequila off our credenza and it shatters all over the floor. I was sick and barefoot and in now way attempted to approach a shattered bottle. Shut just kind of stood there and looked at it. Nicky was nice enough to clean it up. Julie just stood there most of the time saying "sorry" and looking like she really wanted to just gtfo. She did nothing to help until Nicky handed her a towel and instead of wipe up the mess she just kind of ... blotted the middle of the floor with the towel all bunched up. So she leaves with no mentioned of replacing it and I wasn't going to push the issues as I was sick and could barely think proper.
Now my room mates and I have a house rule. If someone breaks something they need to replace it or do something to make up for it, and we are understanding, if the person has no money we are find with them helping out with something or just saying "look ill be able to replace this in like 3 months" and were like "cool" Hell in some cases when a person offers to replace it we tell them "know what its cool never mind". But we do decide we should at least ASK what shes going to do. So I sent her an email and saying
"Hi :)
About that bottle of Tarantula Tequila you broke.
Do you plan on replacing that?"
if she planed on replacing it and she replied with "No. That was an accident." with in an hour
And I send back
"Yes i get it was an accident, if it was intentional we would have a serious problem.
But now its an accident that cost of $40.
Do you find it fair that we pay for some one else's mistake?
If i accidental set your apartment on fire would you not expect me to make reparations (within reason and possibility)
I am not going to force you to do anything, It is 100% your decision.
However, this was discussed at our group meeting. It is a standard rule for any guests we have.
if your not willing to replace what you break in our home, you will no longer be welcome here."
No reply after a week, I even sent an email asking her to tell me if she has no plan on replacing it. Nada. So I guess I will close this chapter on my life. I really was hoping to have a friendship with her. But the fact we can not hold a friendship prove I was right in not keeping her as a lover.
- Mood:
disappointed
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- Mood: amused
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I finished Harry Potter.
I must say I am very pleased. Of all the plot twists idiots ruined I was shocked about the ones from the last book. I mean when "Half Blood Prince" came out everyone was like "oh noes.. ~blah~ killed ~blah~". But later in Deathly Hallows when they were like "blah was really blahing because of his blah for blah" I was like. "HA! I knew it! awesome!" But never saw any spoilers beforehand.
The ending was enjoyable. I won't say if it is happy or sad as thats really all a mater of perspective, and a spoiler. But I will say I liked most of how it ended. My only gripe being it look like the author changed her mind right near the end... but still, it was enjoyable.
so Fairwell to potter and its off to Start "The Tales of Alvin Maker" by Orson Scott Card.
Next will be a small series I forgot, and after that Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson.
- Mood:
geeky
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- Mood: happy
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It is with mixed feelings and emotions that I look back on Michael Jackson. I remember as a kid swearing, regardless of ridicule, that he was my favorite singer. I can recall bouncing on my bed to my Thriller/Billy Jean LP (the really cool one with his picture right on the record. Damn I loved those songs. I remember going to sleep to my Jackson 5 Christmases tape. (yes, year round). I thought it was so cool to hear a kid singing songs I liked. I can even recall, later on, watching Moonwalker over and over (sometimes with my mom, she was a fan also). I mean it was nothing more then a chain of music videos mixed with bad plot, but if you took it as that, it was rather enjoyable to watch.
I recall swearing that the first accusations of him 'touching children' were false. As a kid I figured. "well even if its true, if the kids don't mind, where is the harm?" but as I grew up a bit I realized the if it was true, how very wrong is must be. Many accusations later I stopped defending him and just started to ignore anything about him. (We still have no idea how true it is)
It was shortly after that when, I no longer saw a crazy pedophile, but a very sad man that had what appear to be 'arrested developmental.' (meaning he still sees himself as a child) Doing his best to make up for a lost childhood, but with the desires of a man. I am not saying that molesting children (if he did), or that acting like a child is normal or healthy. Nor am I saying I would do the same myself, however I see where his mind would go there.
I think most of his really bad issues started after he got set on fire during the filming of that Pepsi commercial(more proof Pepsi is evil). Addiction to pain killers and plastic surgery really ruined what was left of his dignity. Lets not even get into his "skin disorder". Through all this however I noticed he never lost his voice or ability to dance. While his songs were good, he never wrote (in my opinion) as good as his old goodies such as Beat it, Thriller, Smooth Criminal, Billy Jean and Bad.
Jokes come easy with Micheal Jackson as he pretty much had became a walking joke himself. It's like making fun of the retarded, the way they act IS funny, but the reason they are that was is not. Major difference being retards are usually rather happy and oblivious if they are well taken care of. Jackson was not, but any means, given what he needed. Which really boiled down to love(real love not idol worship), privacy and understanding.
Don't get me wrong, I am going to make the jokes myself, but that does not mean I do not see his issues for what the are. Because behind all plastic, skin dye, and lawsuits, I am sure there was a very sad, lonely, and frightened child who never had the chance to grow up.
It is with a heavy heart I say good by to the first man I ever said was my "favorite singer"
Sayonara Michael.
May you find the peace and happiness in your next life that you were lacking in this one.
- Mood: relieved
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- Mood: impressed
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OH MY FUCKING GOD IT WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!
Optimus was all shingshing wush and that transforming chukchukchikchukchukchik sound and all like Prime hitting decepticons with their own ripped off arms and kicking heads and the niggerbots were all wam wam wam and beating up the giant dinosaur Vultron all the while the sexy lady on the bike is all like "I love you" and the geek is all "I dont wanna" and Prime is all like "fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing"( so cool ^_^ ) and then the killing and flashing and hitting with the rail gun on the constructobots that were trying to use the sun-blowy-uppy-thingy and OMG PONIES!!!.... ~deep breath~ it was cooler then Chuck Norris fighting a Dragon with Excalibur.
- Mood: happy
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Steff still needs a place for her cats. Julie was going to take them again but long story short, turns out she isn't going to again. Good reason? meh. thats really a perception call.
I made a poor attempt at explaining our group philosophy to someone but I failed. Every time I used an apology this person took it far to literally.It was a good trial in patience. If I didn't care I would not make the attempt.
Change the world:
I am not trying to make people into a carbon copy of me. I want people to see there is more to the world that what they were taught growing up. I want people to think for themselves instead of letting everyone else think for them. What really gets to me is when I tell people this they say "So are you saying there is something wrong with me, why should I have to change when you don't want to change" or "I am not you" ....I am not saying people are good or bad, right or wrong, I am simply saying that all humans have room for improvement (even myself.) I don't like watching someone trying to live up to the unfair exceptions of their parents/teachers/paster. Just be who you want to be.
Stress (or lack there of):
I see people stressing out over an issue, and they say "oh when this goes away everything will be fine" and it goes away and then it is something else "ok well now when this goes away" and it never ends. The truth is there is always something as most of us know. We just let our vision get clouded by the biggest thing at the time. The trick is to just not let it bother us. example: "Oh shit, Looks like the AC broke and we need to come up with money now, ok" So I give up something I wanted, toss what money at the at it move on. I know it will be hot when I get home but work is just the same. I get home and its hot but I am still able to enjoy a good book or game. Yes the problem is there, sure it may suck, yes I give it attention, but ill be dammed if I am going to let one thing ruin any other thing else that I love about life.
- Mood:
annoyed
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- Mood: frustrated
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We were really depending on her for this. We built our plans around her doing this.
Beforehand she said she would take them and gave her word (not to me, but to Steff) that she would give the cats a home, even if she stopped dating me.
As I saw it, I didn't even 'break up' with her, I just told the truth, I let her know that at this time I do not return her love, but I do care about her great deal and value her friendship. Next day she suddenly remembered that she may be allergic to cats. We had a long talk and she said she feels a great pain and it is easier to be angry at me then to be sad about it. She went on about how all her friends said I am a jerk (the ones that I talked to for about 5 min that she said before this all happened, where angry at me because they like her and I was taking her away from them)
I reminded her that Steff and me are different people and almost pleaded that she not take this out of Steff by breaking her word and backing out of the one thing we ever needed her for.
She said it had nothing to do with our breakup, she just didn't want to commit to something (the cats) and have it end up hurting her.... sounds related to my ears, by maybe thats just me.
I asked if she would take them under the agreement that, if she found out it was a problem we would find new homes for the cats right away. She said yes but only on a two month trial, Steff agreed to pay all medical bills and half of living costs and all pet fees for the cats. Julie said that she would come back later that night. So night comes and no Julie. The next two days and she won't even answer her phone. I was some what worried even though a part of me thought she just changed her mind.
It would seem that I had nothing to worry about in regards to her safety. I called her today and her friend spoke to me while she giggled in the background. And in no uncertain terms told me to "take a walk" and leave her alone. I asked if she was going to take the cats, I was told she would have nothing to do with me.
See now this is bad. It seems like she is trying to hurt
me in the worst way imaginable, but hunting someone I love
and care about by lying and breaking her word.
Good Bye Julie.
Thank you for everything you did before today.
Weather you believe me or not, I really did enjoy those times.
No need to worry about me contacting you anymore, you won't be hearing from me.
I don't want to continue our friendship if your word means so little to you.
- Mood: disappointed
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Steff owns allot of shit, she has been living in that house for 17 years. But now allot of her shit is coming to our house and our friend Brian and Kayla and her two kids are moving into Steff's old house. My muscles are so fucking sore from moving, kinda feels good though.
Originally Steff was giving her cats to Julie for at least a year as the cats can not move in with us. But at the last minute (and I mean the day of her taking the cats) she was about to back out. She said it had nothing to do with my telling her I wanted her as a friend and not a lover. I fail to see how the two were not connected. She was worried that if she took the cats she would may get hurt by committing to something....
Well anyway, she made a big deal about being a person who keeps her word and I reminded her that she already gave her word to take the cats. I assured her that if keeping the cats made her sick or caused a problem we could not alleviate we would find shelter elsewhere for them as we do not want her to be sick, she is still a friend after all.
Jim and I spent a few hours moving the wires through the new entertainment cabnet thingy and the PS3, fuckbox.. i mean xbox and cable all work... with sterio sound so yay.. now we just have some cleanup work and a few more games of Tetris, but the hardest stuff is done.
Yay!
- Mood:
accomplished
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However no amount of 'like' is going to equal"in love". It is not that she is not good enough for me or anything like that. I think shes awesome and will make someone very happy one day. I just think she needs to find out a bit more about her self first. (she recently moved out of her parents).
Seeing her crying, how sad she was I wanted to just take her in my arms and tell her I changed my mind, I hate to see someone I care about (or anyone for that mater) so sad. But that would not be honest and I just won't bring myself to lie.
I almost didn't tell her just to make sure she stayed around, but that would be tantamount to lying and I felt stringing someone along like that would be cruel. So heres to hoping she stays apart of my life. My last ex became a very good friend and I would like that trend to continue. I hate to think of loosing such an awesome person from my life forever.
- Mood: disappointed
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Got two commissions done. One of my normal Fursona "Trowa" from an artist named Sophie. and another of a Character from a novel I am working on. "Tobin" from a artist name Kaji, whos artwork was just amazing.
I loved going to both Fun Spot and Wen n' Wild. Ill wrote more about it when I have time. I am not feeling to great. Got food poison the day after the con and a cold the day after that. "yay sick"
- Mood: happy
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